Confused & Struggling
I have never spoken honestly to anyone about my drinking. I can easily drink 4 bottles of wine in one week. I did not think I had a problem. I just got tired of waking up feeling disgusting, so one month ago I decided to quit. The first time I stopped for 3 days and then attended a social event and had a drink. Immediately after this I stopped for 5 days before drinking again. Both times I felt fine. I realise I wasn't really stopping, I was binge drinking instead. I have repeated this cycle 5 times in the past month. The last time I drank was Friday. I woke up on Saturday and felt terrible. I thought I was losing my mind. I was snappy, angry and irritable. The feeling of anxiety was one of overwhelming panic and fear. I felt very shaky and had dizzy spells as though I could pass out. It is now Monday and the severity has subsided, but the fear and anxiety has not. I felt I could have had a panic attack or worse. It just came out of the blue. I am so afraid and do not want to ever feel like that again. I have not had a drink since last Friday and am committed to not drinking again. My husband drinks most nights ( a bottle of wine and cans of lager). This is going to be so hard. I have never discussed my drinking or how I feel with him or anyone. Initially I was thinking I might be able to stop for a few months and then have the occasional drink. I think I know I can never drink again.