Originally Posted by
FeelingGreat 
Dee, it might be easier for you if you really really lower your expectations of getting anything from him. Responsibility, love, care, even basic honesty are beyond him right now. If you don't expect, you won't be let down.
How about concentrating on your beautiful little boy, giving him the best life you can? There's something you can control. He's so lucky to have a Mum who cares for him and can live a substance free life. I'm glad you're going to Nar Anon as the steps will help you recover from your hurt.
I am trying to stop hoping and wondering what he is up to its so hard! And yes after all my expectations get a lot lower but it hurts even more then.. guess i am used to all the day dreaming and reality is hitting me harder than ever right now
I have already concentrated on my beatuiful boy i finally managed to get a job which broke my isolation a lot and i am not as shy how i used to be around people but it just feels very weird almost like it isnt me i always used to be shy to speak to strangers but now i feel relief when i talk to people who dont know me and my story i get really down at times but i am a master of putting this happy "mask" on and pretend that i am ok