You can go back and look at your old posts (click on your profile and view history). It might be enlightening to you as far as how the progression goes. Might have only been 10 a day back then, but regardless appears to be an ongoing struggle for you. Quitting drinking is a great accomplishment, but I guess you have found some replacements. I am not judging you trust me. I have done my share of messed up things and was able to justify them to myself. We are all just trying to get through life and I am no different than you. Just be honest with yourself and no need to beat yourself up. Congrats on making a change and hope you can find the support you need to continue to find your way.