Thanks so much for the responses. This morning feels good again. I'm trying to focus on doing what I can for the future and living in the moment but it gets hard late at night when I'm tired and alone.
(also, I mean to post this in the alcohol group, oops. But I guess we all have similar struggles)
I do feel like I'm learning to take control of my life and that is fabulous. I just have weak moments when it's late at night and I have no one to talk to. Which is why I'm so happy to have found these forums! Thank you again!!