Day 3 Underway!
And it's Friday. And Friday is... well that's why there's the weekend support threads, right?
I went to a women's meeting last night. There were probably 25 women there, one of whom was trying to start the meeting but in a rather condescending manner toward another woman who wanted to have a 1st step meeting. Huh?
We don't know what kind of meeting we're having???
I've attended ALANON, ACA and CODA over the years so I know that we are all human and that meetings are a place of support, choosing to take what you need from it and leave the rest but damn it, I expect more out of a group of people who attend to work steps and traditions; catty remarks and haughtiness should be left outside.
So anyway, I went outside with the First Step group.
The meeting opened with the Serenity prayer and from there it was each of them telling their story. Understanding that our story IS one of powerlessness over alcohol, nothing about powerlessness over alcohol or unmanageability in their lives and working the step came into play. This lasted about 15 minutes, then it was a free-for-all, mostly focusing on one talkative woman and lots of crosstalk, much of it social.
OK, I'm done b*******.
Just for the record, when I called C.O. last week, I was told that this is one of the strongest women's meetings in my area and yes, I know I can look for another... I know that my recovery is about me and what I may learn from others - it's about what I do with my time/actions that work for me rather than making judgements of others that actually interferes with that.
I have always "expected too much" of myself and others and in the past 10 years and I am continually learning to let go of that in favor of accepting humanity in growth and love. I'm sure that in this situation, there is some humility to be had here for me.
I'm just so disheartened...this is the very first time I have truly made that decision to live each day without running to a bottle; I am trying. So far, I am doing it and I want that to continue but I feel very alone.
Thanks for being here, listening and I look forward to your thoughts!
Have a wonderful Friday everyone!