Originally Posted by
smc808 
So I have been keeping all of this to myself for the past two days and its slowly killing me.
Two nights ago after a night out my boyfriend of a little over a year told me he has been taking suboxone regularly for about 5 years. I knew about his past going into this relationship, he had issues with pain meds and even had gone to detox before we met for them. I had no idea he was still taking something daily, not only taking it but doing it without a prescription. I can't tell if I am being selfish? I feel so hurt that he wouldn't tell me, he says its because he was afraid to lose me and he was ashamed. I would hope he knew that I would never judge or leave him for such a thing. Regardless, last night we talked more. I told him he needed to seek help since the apparently few times he has tried to quit cold turkey haven't worked. I don't know what I am supposed to do, do I push detox everyday until he does it? He says this is what he wants to do, but I don't think he will make the calls and make it a priority. I also don't really understand the drug, he says there is no high from it that it just makes him feel "normal" is this true? Is it common after someone detox's to relapse?
I am so lost, this is so new to me. I just can't believe he lied for this long. Any kind of help in what I can do to help him would really be beneficial.
What strikes me as alarming is that you say "he takes it even though he has no prescription" ....... Which means he purchases it everyday? Kind of like a drug deal only this "drug" isn't classified as something as awful as others . It's important to know that suboxone is just as addictive as heroin. . Some say more so. Also important to know that this drug contains opiates which is what makes an active opiate addict feel "un-sick". They're body isn't constantly withdrawing because they are receiving a low dose of an opiate. He will need to detox from this and since he isn't taking it in prescribed doses (doctors use a tapering down method) constantly lowering their dose to the point where when they are ready to stop, the withdrawl won't be as brutal. Make no mistake, he is highly addicted to this suboxone.... A few weeks is enough time for your body to get addicted to it let alone a few years. Discontinuing use also opens the door for a relapse to his drug of choice (what he liked before the suboxone). I'm not intending to scare you or discourage you... I just want you to be as informed as possible (in the beginning I wish I knew as much as I do now)
What's scary here (especially with someone who struggles with addiction) is that his actions don't seem to coincide with recovery
1) he has lied about his use to you
2) he purchases the substance illegally
3) he isn't actively trying to stop (actions and words are two different things) expressing a desire to quit without actually following up on that desire is a tactic many addicts use to "tell us what we want to hear and keep us off their backs for a while"
Sending you a hug and some strength!!! I would continue having as many conversations with him as you can, and keep a mental note of whether or not his words match his actions