Susanna;
Welcome...You've just come to a wonderful place with some very loving and caring people who listen...
I cannot tell you what to do, only you can decide that..You mentioned you have been to Al-Anon...I highy suggest that you try it again...The litature is really a big help in helping me decide what my options are and are not ...IF you have the One day At A time book in the back of it there are subjects by topic that really help me learn what the differences are...
Another1 liner....
If I cannot let go completey......hold on loosely!
Sunbeams and blessings.