thanks for the advice and kind words doggonecarl
she is great mother, it has actually made me love her so much more, more than i thought was possible. So you are 100% right when you say she is thinking more about our child. I just feel horrible now that she is at home taking care of our child and having to think about this over and over again. I just keep thinking to myself, if i would have only cleaned out my truck or done something different. but i also try to look at it in another way, maybe i would have found that substance in a weak moment by myself, and i would not have had the will power to throw them out. She very well could have saved me from another relapse just by finding these in my truck. She has always always been a type of guardian angel pertaining to my addiction in the past.