Originally Posted by
Algorithm 
Do you remember what particular thoughts or feelings brought you to make that decision? What does "had been working on" mean?
The scary part is that I didn't really have any major feelings that lead me to back to drinking. One day I just decided to drink so I drank. Part of it is that I was a regular at a particular bar and I wanted to go back. So I just did without even a second thought. I have so many negative and shameful memories at that place that I can't understand why it's so hard for me to give up. That's one thing I will need to focus on.
What I meant by "had been working on" is that in sobriety I had been working on becoming a better person and getting people to like me again. I was a sloppy drunk who cause a lot of trouble with people because I had a big mouth. Working on my reputation and mending broken friendships was important to me.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. The depression is awful today but I'm committed to not drinking.