As always thank you so much for your replies and support. What i'd do without you guys i truly dont know. I pray to god that i havent done any damage to myself this time but then again this is how I always feel after the fact :s. Isnt it strange that despite the dangers, once the AV sets itself in motion, nothing else matters. No health risk, no risk of danger to myself or others, nothing. Can you imagine being able to harness the elaborate strategies we put in place for another drink into something productive?
God only knows what we as alcoholics could achieve.
Sorry for the long post. Just wanted to share.