Originally Posted by
joshlyman 
I had a good 15 months of sobriety when I decided to screw up everything that I had been working on. I started drinking again.
Do you remember what particular thoughts or feelings brought you to make that decision? What does "had been working on" mean?
Originally Posted by
joshlyman i absolutely hate alcohol and do not want it in my life anymore
Focus on this -- single minded determination.
Sometimes we only want to avoid the negative consequences, which are often difficult to remember, hence my first question.
Welcome. Regroup. Make a plan.