I'm also a CEO of a very successful company and it does have a negative impact on my ability to be as effective of a leader that I know I can be and also gets in the way of my philanthropic efforts.
My story is not like that I'm only hurting myself emotionally
How do you reconcile these two statements. You are hurting the people who depend on you and trust you plus you are doing a disservice to people who can't help themselves. Not to mention the damage you are doing your soon to be wife because you are not being untruthful in your relationship at a very basic level
Sorry buddy but you are deeply in denial. In AA we talk about the "YETS" I haven't been arrested, lost a job, lost a marriage, lost friends, lost health, lost others respect. You haven't lost those things YET but rest assured you will the longer you stay drinking