And now, let's throw in one more variable ... regional differences and culture.
Many times I find that when I am direct, clear, and assertive, I am perceived as rude, blunt, or a bitch. (Btw, I live in Alabama.)This is something that really irks me, too. And it also depends on the group of people I'm around, oftentimes, the demographics.
GroundhogDay, I can relate to your issues at work very much. However, I don't think I lack tact. But maybe it's my own perception of it that tells me this? I am actually polite and quite careful in my communication most times, to try and avoid misunderstandings, as it's been happening this way most of my adult life.
I am clear, direct, and to the point. That is my personality. I also know when not to say something, and I do tell white lies to save people from hurt feelings. But if I feel it's ok, I tend to be myself and that is very clear, analytical, direct, and detailed. People seem not to like this, lol.
And then I wonder how many people enjoy muddled information? Muddled communication, because it allows for manipulation, and allows for denial to run rampant, and let's them engage in their 'drama.' It seems women have this specific way of dodging the issue at hand, sugar-coating, hinting, implying, and these covert ways of attacking other women.
I just don't do these things. It is not my nature. It is my nature to uncover, understand, analyze, synthesize, and to be very efficient about it all. People misunderstand me all the time. It is so odd to me, because I couldn't be more clear or transparent.
I posted about some incidents at work today related to this, over in my Big Life Changes thread.