Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
I just can't believe after the awful detox and all of the hope that a few days later he's right back at it!
Addiction is:
Cunning
Baffling
Powerful
Recovery LOOKS like Recovery
Using LOOKS like Using
you don't NEED to approach him....if he is using, HE knows that. and it will be up to him to make choices to continue or to quit.
i'm sorry you feel pressure from his family. you are NOT his savior. that is not your job. you can't FIX this for him. NO ONE can......
nor must you be the spokesperson or the town crier alerting others to his situation. try to remove yourself from that position.....
you are invested and it DOES hurt. which is why you MUST take care of you with the same zeal as you have for him. more actually.
Wow thanks for that. I never really could grasp the fact that I don't have to face his family. I mean it's so much pressure. His mom is like a mom to me, and she would go to the end of the earth for her kids. She loves him with every ounce of her and I see the pain in her eyes and the heartache she feels. We have shared so much throughout his addiction, the worrying the pain and the trying to save him. She went through so much when he deployed overseas and only to have him return home and battle addiction, she's been through the ringer and I know she comes from a place of love but sometimes it's so hard on be to be there for everyone. I'm always trying to help, to mediate their fights and be a strong voice of reason, but I need help to Yano? I try to be everything to everyone and then when I'm alone I cry... Alone. It's almost like I feel if I weren't so strong things would fall apart. I need to make sure I study hard in school (I'm 8 months from my masters degree) I need to make sure I work hard Incase he blows all of his money we need to pay our bills! so I work double shifts through my already draining school schedule, and on top of that I have to do this all through worry and tears and anxiety. They day he went to rehab I couldn't go, I had to work a 12 hour shift that day and it killed me.... The whole drive to work I fought the tears because I knew I couldn't fall apart. I have to face the day and be strong. He helps, he pays the bills too almost entirely but I'm always afraid any day he can lose his amazing job and I'll need to pick up the pieces.
I just don't know how to remove myself from being the town crier because because we're such a close family.... They know everything and him mom is constantly asking me how he is, asking if I'm lying, or covering. Which I would never, trust me it's been the cause of many arguments between him and I... But I refuse to cover up bad behavior, if he was high I can't lie because I feel that isn't doing him any good and I want his mom to be aware of the situation too because I need help handling him sometimes. It's a tough call, but none the less immense pressure on my part