Originally Posted by
Boleo 
Assertiveness certainly plays a roll in recovery. However, it should be reserved for establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, rather than trying to control others. It can end up increasing resentments and owing others amends for meddling outside of our own boundaries.
"All expectations are seeds for resentments".
(Chuang Tzu)
I have struggled and failed at the assertiveness/aggressiveness thing over this past week. I am really unhappy with myself as a result. I just don't seem to get the difference and it affects my social and professional relationships badly. All the good I do seems to be completely undone to the point it was better I never left the house. It's like I am a natural jerk or something. I just don't know what to do with that.
This week's problem was work-related and I know exactly what the problem is. My boss has no boundaries with his boss and the **** rolls downhill. To make matters worse, my boss expects me and the rest of his staff to provide feedback constantly, only to turn around and explain why he is right and we are wrong. Then, he acts surprised when his staff is silent at meetings and treats us like losers. In this job and previous jobs, it always seems to fall to me to be the one to speak up about these unhealthy office dynamics. But it never ends well for me. I end up quitting in frustration. The rest of the staff don't appreciate my efforts to bring about change and are glad when I leave since it opens up advancement opportunities for them. I am always the designated successor to the current manager, but I never have the patience to get there.
If someone had explained what office politics were like when I was in college, I would have chosen a different profession. However, I am too close to retirement to change at this point, and I am good at what I do. I spend more and more time teleworking to cope.