Thelyoness83 -- Glad it helped! Well, much has happened since then... More came to light, more active addiction, AH was told to leave, etc... But through it all I have learned to detach lovingly, refocus my focus where it needed to be all along, and learned much about myself in the process. I have learned that it is okay to say no, set boundaries, and take care of/love myself. I've learned it is not possible to control anyone else, and this detachment has brought me much more peace than I had back when writing that initial post.
To get into the technicalities, AH and I are slowly getting into the realm of living together again, but he is also rebuilding his life - getting a job, getting treatment while I am in counseling as well as active in small group at my church. This community that I have surrounded myself with has been very important. I am naturally introverted, so it took much effort to force myself into community, but I don't regret it one second.
I hope this helps.