..... After completing rehab this week, sadly I think he's using already. I have no proof. Just a gut feeling. I don't know how to approach this, I have no idea. You hate to accuse if your wrong and even if you knew for sure..... It's just such an awful subject to approach. Like "okay I think you've relapsed, let's pick the pieces back up" that sounds like a reasonable approach but dealing with a heroin addicted person is never that easy. There is a lot of denial and manipulation before you get to the truth. I haven't found anything around the house, not a signal sign but he hasn't been sleeping since rehab and his whole personality has changed again. I can't explain it, but I'm sure you all know what I mean. When he's not using he's kind and gentile, soft spoken and very modest and humble. When he is using he becomes someone else, full of confidence, cocky, voice changes and suddenly the world is a joke, he can't stop talking and his whole face looks different. I can't explain it but I'm always dead on because the man he is when not using is so so so different from him on heroin. It's actually nuts to me that something can change you so much. His pupils look small to me, in rehab and the days after he was so bright eyes. His big gorgeous eyes were so bright, yesterday and today they are much different. I know what your thinking "if his eyes are pinned he must be high"! But he has every excuse. So are yours!! It's the sun!, it's the lighting, it's he's tired..... Everything other than the obvious. I can't even begin to express the dread I feel of approaching this subject to him. I know he will deny and it's infuriating because I want to scream how I know the truth and I want to help...... I feel like people are waiting for him To fail so they can say "see I told you they never get better" like he's not even a person at all, but he is to me. I'd do anything and everything to help him..... I just can't believe after the awful detox and all of the hope that a few days later he's right back at it! I don't think I'm wrong here.... I just need to figure out how to approach him. I feel so much pressure from his family.... I hate to break their hearts and tell them that I don't think he's okay but at the Same time I'm struggling too..... I am invested in this too and my heart is killing me. I feel so much pressure over dealing with them too.. Like they expect me to save him because I'm his fiancé. His family and I are super close but I'm always the bearer of bad news... The one who has to face them and tell them the truth because I can't look at them and lie. This drug is the devil on earth...
