Katzen - I can relate to you so much. My husband is very unhappy with our current situation. I am too, but he is on a deeper level. I've sobered up for weekdays, 5, 10 days in a row and I think the longest time was about 3 weeks when I've connected my sobriety to what is going on with him. Misery loves company, right?
This last time I made the decision for myself, was honest with him about it and also got other sources of accountability. Now I've just past 30 days. It's a constant struggle but the decision and accountability has to be 100% yours.