There is always a but, right? I do have 77 days alcohol free and I am celebrating that with some cookies and milk.
But I did something stupid today. I took my daughter to the doctor for an ADHD med check. We got her prescription and took it to Walgreens. We waited patiently for it. Then we got it, I was holding a controlled substance in my hand. The feelings of excitement and elation came back, consumed me, and then I took 4 of the pills in the parking lot. I rationalized that it was OK because the doctor said she doesn't have to take them on the weekends. So 8 pills won't be used. I convinced myself as I swallowed the pills that it was no big deal. Yeah right.
So I sit here in an amphetamine high from pills I took from my 7 year old daughter and I am both consumed with shame and regret, but also strength and confidence. I took the pills, I can't change that. What I can do is use this as a learning tool. I will prepare myself to make sure I never pick up the prescription anymore. My husband can do it and then put it in the safe.
I am also confident that I won't do this again. It was a stupid, impulsive mistake that is done and over. I am not using this experience to fall back into the pits of addiction. I am not using this as a reason to find more drugs. I won't let one mistake topple the mountain I am building. Moving on, learned my lesson, confessed to my sister, then on my blog, and now here.
You can fall off the wagon but you can also grab the reins and swing right back up. That is what I am doing. I will be back in the driver's seat soon enough.