Dd, great post. You have come such a very long way, I'm proud to call you sober friend. You and your fiancée will make super parents, whatever way that happens. My nephew was adopted from Guatemala. I'm so very grateful for the bond he and I have. We are so lucky to have him, Josue has been the light of our lives for almost 16 years now. Give love, be love. Whatever happens and however it happens will be a huge blessing.
Sass I'm sorry about your daughter, I have faith that she'll talk to you when she is ready.
Gilmer, hope things are going well!
Babs I hope you haven't had any more plumbing disasters.
Trachy wow congrats on the new career!! You'll be awesome. Insurance industry needs more standup guys like you.
Duff, I hope you don't sweat that fight too much. Your boys will be fine. You'll navigate your way through this, and they will see happy mom and happy dad again. They need to see that things can and will get better. I really think it's the process and love that matters the most. They will look to you and your stbx as models in their relationships. If they see that things sometimes don't work, people aren't perfect, sometimes they aren't always nice to each other that really is ok. I think what really matters is that they see the two of you get through this with as much mutual respect as possible. Learning to disagree respectfully is every bit as important as agreeing.
If it's any consolation, j and I didn't do any pre marriage counseling. Not many churches would do it for "people like us." We had a fantastic pasted we got to skype with a couple of times though, and he was amazing. Just seeing a person who was rooting for us but didn't expect us to be perfect or have it all " figured out" was soothing and helpful in itself. I often need a reminder that just because I've gotten to a certain point in life, it by no means I necessarily have it all figured out. And that's ok.
Hmmm that was all very stream o consciousness, hope I didn't wander too much. But it was helpful to me. So thanks for putting up with it!
Budd, toots, north, marcher I miss marcher.... I hope you are all having a good one!