Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Barklay...
Welcome to the Board. I'm sorry for what has brought you here.
Having said that...
One of our members, Ann, often speaks of "strangely wrapped gifts". Perhaps the ending of your relationship with your ABF is one of them. As you observed, somebody in active addiction is going to choose feeding and continuing the addiction most of the time. That leaves room for virtually nothing else. And the truth is you deserve better.
So, yes, mourn and grieve for as long as you need to. But also be open to the possibility that someone can and will come along who will appreciate and prioritize you. You will always carry your AXBF. But in time, that won't hurt the way it is now. Trust me on this.
Other members will be by in new course. Until then, take care, keep us posted, and again, Welcome to the Board.