I know it's just an illusion. If I would have been drinking I would have been worried all about how much free wine I could down. But instead I laughed with family. I just realized maybe I'm not ready to reenter the normal world quite as much as I thought. I'm very grateful to be where I am at but tonight just threw me off a tad. I was a little envious that I'm not a normal drinker. However, I never want to go back. I'm clear headed, making good decisions. I haven't felt shame in 70 days and sleeping extroidinarily better then ever!!