with work i always had lines i'd never allow a boss to cross. I walked off the job once cause when i queationed the boss about promises they had made (very politelly I might add) he replied if i didnt like it i could hit the F***ng road. I thought geeze thats the first and last time you'll never talk to me that way so I left. I'd never tolerate a boss calling me stupid or something like that. I had a screaming match with a superior once over that sorta thing when he went to my immediate boss to complain that i yelled back my boss sided with me and understood.
I'm just not a fighter by nature or nothing tho. I tolerate a lot generally speaking especially in the work place lots of passive aggressive stuff happens and I just try to keep charging forward. But disrespect me or something and forget it mainly becuase I dont want a boss or co worker to think i'm a door matt i have some self dignity is all.
with others tho family and friends i dunno it was like i guess everyone thought i was just always mr nice guy when inside my blood was boiling tho i'd smile and nod tell them "thats ok I dont mind" then go home and drink. ALl i really changed was i'd say "hey i didnt like that dont do that again" and well that everyones panties in a bunch how dare i speak that way. But i was polite and matter of fact but no one had ever seen that side of me heck I never did either.
I politely told my father i did not want to eat dinner with his wifes kids one night. He kept probing I then politely and as nicely as possible told him why. Oh no it was on next ya know the roof was about to blow off with the yelling *sigh* i never wanted that outcome but I no longer could just smile and nod all the time tolerate all sorts of stuff and just cope with booze later.
For me it was easier to set the boundary now on this side of sobriety so that there wasnt much to cope with later.