KissedbyFire....Unfortunately, I haven't been in your exact shoes...but, I hve known and dealt with a lot of alcoholics..as well as my own qualifier.....
Your story seems to be a very common complaint...from what spouses have told me....and from the many times, you will read about this, here on SR.
Perhaps, you have already said...but, what kind of program of support is your husband following....or is he j ust trying to "white knuckle" through it..?
early recovery, by all reports is a pretty miserable and confusing time for the alcoholic. They are trying to get by without the veery thing that allows them to feel "normal". For the alcoholic...that is how they manage their feelings. Alcohol, to them is like water to a fish.
There is a sort of war going on inside their head 24/7...between themselves and the alcoholic voice that is pushing them to drink.....a compulsion....
***stress can be a big ole romance killer!
In other news...there is the spouse..who has dreamed that putting down the bottle would make everything o.k. The investment and the pain that they have suffered has been stored in a big emotional basket....awaiting the time when he would quit drinking and be so grateful and reward with apologies and a return to the original honeymoon period.....When this doesn't happen, right away...the resentment and disappointment can feel overwhelming (and shocking).....
Lol...I have so often said that the alcoholic should go on a year long sabbiatical to the mountains of Nepal to work through their early recovery....as it would be merciful for all concerned!
Perhaps it would help you some to read up on the typical behaviors of a newly sober alcoholic....just so that you would not be inclined to take it so personally....because I don't think it is about you.....it is about his battle with the disease...
Knowledge does help..
Knowledge is power