FireSprite....I am so glad that you are pursuing this ...for the sake of you husband and for your own sake.....
You are so fortunate to have the realizations that you do about this all too common situation....
so many people go through their lives, struggling, and never have any idea of why......
I have learned that many, many, alcoholics began using alcohol to self medicate ADHD...
I have lived with someone in the same house with Adult ADHD....and, they can be so hard to live with....It really can cause the demise of many marriages.....and other kinds of relationships, also.
Your husband is lucky to have a wife l ike you!!