Thank you for all of the advice, I truly appreciate it.
Today was actually not a struggle for me with drinking. Well, that's only because I am sick. And not sick from withdrawal, but sick with an illness that was passed around the family. I have felt so crappy all day and it has gotten worse tonight.
I have seriously struggled with the idea of never having another drink...it was scary. I would give myself a goal like, I will not drink all week and/or only on this day. Even on the rare occasion I did follow through, I would always drink way too much on the "treat" day. And let's face it, if that worked, I wouldn't be here.
There is just no way I can continue with what I am doing. My body can no longer take it. My mind cannot take it. And I don't think my family deserves to have me in this state. This new path is scary, but I really want it to work. I will be here probably a LOT more than I have ever been in the past. And I will be reading the suggested articles. Once again, thank you.