Former Doormat
Thankyou for your wise words, they are so true & hit home.
Inconsiderate, irresponsible, self absorbed, cold, pigheaded! I made her cry & took no notice of her warnings & she often said i cared more for the bottle, which sometimes i did & sometimes i didn't, now i definately don't!
I do feel currently losing my gf is a tragedy, as it's so new & hurts so much & i miss her like crazy!, but positives like you say that i need to address my problem is the plus point.
I hurt so much over what i've done, i can't imagine life without her & it feels like it will take forever to heal.
She told me she can't afford to give me a chance, as my history is all she has to go on & thats right i suppose!.
I'm seeing an alcohol advisory service & will seek out AA help too.
My gf said things about how i felt towards her, that weren't true, my actions were wrong, but i did love her & she meant the world to me!
I have been sober 22 days, not a lot, but a start, but it's too late for her!
Alcoholism is a disease & i could murder a shot of bourbon now, as it hurts so much & i crave.
I was so upset when she ended it, i was crying & pleading, what an embarrasing sight, i just was empty, at a loss & couldn't believe it.
I never drank everyday & when i didn't i was the person she loved, i never came in plastered, i just was clumsy & annoying. I will concentrate on getting well, i just want her back so much, & i wish i could turn the clock back & now i want to show her i can't, although she still wants to be my friend & meet occasionally for coffee, this she will do & she will see then the change!
Thanks