August252015

^^^This. What's the plan?

You have seen- you truly KNOW- that moderation doesn't work. IMO, it is a fool's errand for, oh, everyone - once you start thinking these kind of thoughts (changing when, where, how, what kind, with whom, just this amount, etc etc ad nauseum) you're in....alcoholic territory to say the least.

Now sounds like a time to start getting honest, and accepting your situation- including with your husband and you can do this with support! Now sounds like (wait for it, my ever used comment)....a perfect time for AA..

Shame is one of the natural emotions for us alcoholics to feel. We have to learn to deal with it- you will truly do it as you recover (in AA, for example, you work through steps 4 and 5, acknowledging your resentments, fears, bad doings, etc, and admitting them to another) - in the beginning, not drinking and following a plan of action is what you do. The biggies like shame can't be allowed to be a hindrance in getting started - and you put them "aside" to truly accept and release as you grow in your sobriety. Not easy; entirely possible. You can come to put this feeling and others- guilt, regret, sorrow just to name a few- in a "compartment" of sorts so you can move forward.

Life is so much better on the sober side. From no booze calories or bad eating choices to...everything else.

You can do it. Good luck!