I agree with you and everyone else about trying moderation tactics and failing miserably.
Once I was able to get my head around the fact that I was never going to be able to be that kind of drinker, it was almost a relief. May sound weird but coming to terms with that fact gave me sort of a surrender, a freedom and a knowing what I had to do to save my life and my sanity. No more fighting and struggling. No more wasting my emotional spiritual and physical energy trying to go after something that was never going to be.
Im so happy you are here! Keep posting with us. Let us help you.