Midnightblue, that's an interesting thought. I guess in a sense I am worried about getting in trouble, being looked at as a failure, a bad person. I don't think I'm in the best light of my husband and I surely want to be better for my kids. I'm very disappointed in myself for not being stronger, for using excuses, and for feeding into the demise of my own body.
There are many health problems I'm having and I really think alcohol is the cause of 90% of them. I feel shame because even thinking this, I still drank. I am better and smarter than that. I'm hoping the counselor can help a good bit because I'm going to have to figure out another coping method rather than feeding the demon this liquid evil that keeps me down.