Hi, PowerFlower.
My therapist once told me that a grown up person shouldn't feel shame - because shame stems from fear to be punished. That was something that took me quite a time to grasp.
Since then I started questioning myself - what I am afraid to be punished for? Do I really regret what I've done or was it a mistake made by me in the process of learning how to go through life? Am I afraid that people wouldn't approve of my actions and will despise me? Do I care? Maybe I care too much?
I used to want my old life back too. Now I don't want anything old - better focus on building a new life worth living - without shame and regrets.
Best wishes to you.