Thinking of you, ((((CP)))). Pour that stuff out or give it away today. It is too tempting to have it in the house.
Sorry you are struggling with loneliness. We're here for you! I know it isn't the same as f2f, but at least it is something. PHAZE-TWO had what seems like a good suggestion. Kinda wish I could find something like that here. I have lots of friends, but they all drink. I used to have friends over at my house all the time but since I quit drinking, they haven't been coming around. Guess they are worried about drinking in front of me. I've told them they need to trust me enough to tell them when I can't be around alcohol and when I can. (And yes, I know some would say I shouldn't be around it at all, but I'm trying to be realistic and realize that is nearly impossible...) It hurts that they don't come around, but it makes me realize maybe they weren't really my friends in the first place. Anyway... I'm rambling. Too much coffee this morning while writing my super-long post on A-team thread...
Hang in there, girl. You got this. It will get better if you don't pick up...