Sorry to hear this Amanda. As you say it is a powerful cautionary tale. The incredible thing is, earlier in this thread you were well aware of the dangers, for you, of drinking again. You had powerful medical advice that much of the damage had only been arrested and would not repair by stopping drinking, and would get worse if you drank again.
To any sane person, these are compelling reasons, medical advice and past and present suffering. Yet they were not sufficient to prevent you from taking the fatal first drink.
For me, neither those medical reasons or any human power could provide a defence against the first drink. I had to find another way. Maybe there is something more you need to be doing?
You said alcoholsm keeps people alive and suffering. I have heard that too. Only the lucky ones get to die. But my experience is they don't get to chose when. No one knows when the fatal first drink will lead to the end of the road. But it happens, quite a lot.