At the point where you are right now, I was only just starting to "unclench". I was only just starting to understand my reality fully, starting to see it dimensionally - does that makes sense? All sides?
I was very overwhelmed & I thought more about separation/divorce then than I ever had before. I felt like we were standing on opposing sides (again!), separated by a mess so undefinable there was no knowing exactly where to begin. Or if I wanted to.
I also started to display more codie "behaviors" around then too - which seemed backward, but it isn't when you think about it like a stress-response. I was "thawing" because in the absence of his ongoing crisis situations, I could. Like phoenix mentioned, there were times I reacted to the lack of drama too.
I went through a LOT of phases honestly, we both did. The only thing I am positive about is that FOR US, the success lies in us each working our respective recoveries first & then working on repairing our marriage. His brain & body needed a long time to really get over the daily alcohol abuse too, he'd been saturating himself for a while. Until we knew who we were now, we couldn't know if we HAD a marriage to save.