I'm in no position to give advice. My fiance is sober for one week today. I'm proud... but I'm quickly realizing that I spent so much time trying to save him, that I have pushed aside, swept under the rug, and bottled all of my emotions. I'm so angry and full of resentment. I never thought I could be angrier than when he came home drunk.
I'm also realizing that he's been an alcoholic to varying degrees the entire time I've known him. Now I need to get to know him again but he has to find himself first. I feel miles away from an endless finish line.
If she's the woman you fell in love with now, try to fall in love with her all over again. You don't have to "force it." Try to reconnect.
I can't imagine it's easy. I don't imagine it will happen over night.
Couples counseling could help or it could help a decision be made by both of you.
Also, maybe seek personal cousnelling for yourself. That's something I have decided as I didn't find that al-anon worked for me.
I admire your strength. Keep hanging in there.
Good luck.