What ELSE are you doing, besides sitting and letting things "unfold"? Are you working the Steps? Do you have a sponsor?
I'll agree that not every marriage can be saved, even with great sobriety. Mine ended after my husband had fifteen years (and we'd been married for fourteen). Working the Steps can help you to see more clearly what's hers and what's yours to clean up.
If things are still rocky after you've both been doing the work for a year, marriage counseling MIGHT help. I wouldn't jump into it just yet, as she's still got her hands full with her recovery, and you'll make better progress, yourself, if you work on yours..