Re: Some people disappoint me.
Every meeting place is different, and sometimes those differences impact the group as a whole. Case in point, my former home group here in New York.
My former home group, SOS, continues to operate under a long standing tradition that has been in place for years. Well, that was until recently.
There has been a series of incidents involving numerous individuals who call themselves “the true voice of AA”. Their tactics may seem harmless to some people, given their time sober, but in my expert opinion it's nothing more than someone's alcoholism run amok. Here is how they operate.
It's start out slowly with a snide remark here an there. Then, they use a well known tactic called a 'disruption injunction', like cross talking or disinformation. Finally, after the group is in total disarray, they interject their own brand of recovery through outright intimidation and bullying.
Unfortunately, this tactic has succeeded on many fronts, including taking over an entire meeting place -including my former home group “SOS”. It’s only when a group of individuals, including yours truly, stand up and say ‘no more’ that the walls come crashing down.
This specific trend is nothing new, however. It has been happening for quite some time and the stories keep on coming. So my advice is actually quite simple: I would try to remain open minded without being too hypercritical. It may be the only way to smooth out the situation.
I know; we all have our own opinion and of course our opinions matter, but it should not exacerbate the situation. I would also try to develop a friendship with at least one good soul in recovery, if not two. Who knows: They may turn out to be our strongest allies, if not more.
There is another side of AA that I’m not always proud of, and it has to do with difficult people.
You know what the say in AA, right? How the truth is stranger than fiction? Than same precedent applies to individuals themselves. Some people are friendly to newcomers while others treat them like objects, not individuals. It’s a fact of life that exists just about everywhere.
Some of those people are pig-headed and will not budge either way, and others are more sympathetic and will comply to your wishes. This is where you can politely illustrate you point of view without being overly offensive.
Perhaps their idea has a hole in it and could potentially backfire, so show them! If anything, you will gain the trust of the individual in question.
Oh, one last thing: I try to take things in stride, myself, because it might come in handy, someday. Maybe, you should as well.
If none of this advice works out, then you can always check out another meeting place; that is in your right. Good luck.