CD - I will pray that your A will do different than mine.
Having a child with an A (myself) is devastating. Please think about how he affects you now, and do not consider having a child with an actively drinking A. That is my advice.
My story is that I am currently living with an A who is the father of my child. He has been an A the entire time I have known him. I am now getting away from him forever. Living with another person's addiction is not fun. It is a waste of LIFE. I wasted almost 10 years 'trying to help' someone that does not want help. I cannot force the A to think responsibly like I do. I wasted my entire 30's period of my life on him. I met him when I was 31, full of life, career goals, dreams of owning a home, dreams of having a family, on HIS alcoholism.
My A also has a persistent mother who has made the A in my life my problem. Let me rephrase, I have allowed his mother to make him my problem. You know why she has always supported me when talking about his problems and sympathized with me? Because SHE doesn't want to take care of him anymore. Sometimes family members will get caught up in the web because it is easier to make YOU feel like YOU can do something to save someone else. The entire paradigm of living with an active A is not normal. It isn't fun. It isn't healthy.
Nobody here can or will tell you explicitly what to do. I can assure you though, if you don't get out, and you come back here, the likelihood that you will be reading your old posts and the story will sound basically the same is about 95%. I reread things I posted in 2011 and not one dang thing has changed with the A. Not ONE. The only thing that has changed is my resolve to finally see the truth and accept it and to get away for good.
Please go thru and read people's stories. They speak the truth that you seek. You will see that many of the stories are the same, just different players. Nothing changes if nothing changes.