Ugh not easy. I have followed your story and there are lots of similarities to mine. What I have been doing since I moved out 5 months ago...is to have my STBXAH see the kids on a consistent supervised schedule. It took some time to get him to agree to that but he really didn't have a choice since he's still using. He has set days he can come see the kids while my parents supervise (shows up half of the time). I have gone no contact (blocked him from my phone) and he can email me only when it involves the kids. Him not having access to my phone has helped me tremendously! Of course he will still email me regarding other nonsense, but I never engage unless it involves the kids. He has had every opportunity to submit to a drug test so he could have the kids unsupervised...but he has yet to do that. I have decided to proceed with a divorce because this "in limbo" and waiting for him to "change" is only causing me more grief. I know how hard this must be for you and even more so when you have a child and need the help. Is your family nearby to help? As much as I don't like relying on my family for help, they are willing so I feel blessed. It's only temporarily and it takes a village!! Sending you prayers and strength!!!