Wow 07, you certainly have your hands full there. I would suggest that no contact might free up a hand that you are definitely in need of. Something that struck me was that you mentioned your drunk was living with an active alcoholic in his mother. Don't see that as a healthy situation for him getting sober. Perhaps you could rely more on your family to get you through these tough times. Also Alanon could be something to look into for I have found it both encouraging and supportive. You call him a dry drunk but he seems to have too many relapses to be considered dry. You are taking care of one child with challenges, you don't need two. Huge hugs and keep us posted.