I have decided to see my old therapist again--at least for what I call a "touch base" session. I ususally feel better after talking to her. She reminds me of coping tools I have forgotten about (or becasme to lazy to use!). My Dad as well has an appointment to see his old therapist on Monday. As much as mom's behavior effects me, it affects him 3 fold. Eddie, I really identify with what you said about your husband manipulating his therapist. Fortunately, the ones my mom has had are able to see through that and that is when she "fires" them. Does your husband have abuse in his history? My mom was sexually abused by her grandfather and although she has verbalized it, she has diminished it by saying that " it wasn't really abuse because he only did it twice". She threatened to tell her father if he continued and he stopped, but went on to abuse her sister and cousins. What I have read is that abuse is a large component to BPD.
Off to work, hope you all have a great weekend.