Commitment to a teetotal life: The first year
I don't know why I prefer the word teetotal to sober, I just do.
Before the start of this year I quit alcohol and other drugs a couple of days before Christmas, feeling polluted. They were a bad few months before Christmas. Why wait until after New Year's. I made the statement to the gf and she announce to a few people (when we were at a birthday party and some other things) That I quit alcohol for one year. I don't know if I was ready for the commitment of "forever" on one hand, but on the other I was hoping that after a year I would have developed myself and matured into teetotalness that I would not go back.
So there was a little conflict and compromise stemming from not fully accepting that this alcohol thing destroys me and wrecks my life. Still holding onto the belief that I could, if I truly wanted to, moderate. But for what? To "enjoy" this socially accepted drug in little doses. To slowly poison myself just to "fit in".
Allen Carr calls it devastation. The AA says one drink is too much and a thousand never enough. Both right.
Alcohol screws with my emotions and effects my judgement and I make horrendous decisions. That's not going to magically change. It acts as a poison to my brain, like sugar in your engine. It's not going to magically change.
Why not say I'm quitting for life. I'm done. I couldn't go through another relapse or slip or whatever it's called. It was consuming again with the same consequences, maybe worse as I had no tolerance.
If I hade diabetes I would have to take insulin or whatever for the rest of my life. I would just have to do it and accept the new life.
why not the same with alcohol. It's causing problems. It always has so logically it always will. Why not stop taking it for life.