Katzen - I'm so glad you're here with us. Talking things over with others who can relate eases the pain a bit.
I drank to calm myself when I was fearful too. I finally realized that I was making myself even more anxious. I also needed to drink all day to avoid shaking. It was a horrible trap to be in. I wasn't ever happy or high - just numb & barely getting through the day. It's so much better to be free of it. You can do it.
What a good idea - volunteering at the shelter. It'll keep you busy and distracted in the early days of quitting. You'll be doing a wonderful thing that you can be proud of.
Would it be possible to see a doctor to help with detoxing? It's the best way to stay safe.