I appreciate everyones advice, theres alot more to the back story that I left out. His family has never been that close, ie. not the type to say i love you, im proud of you, keep up the good work, hows your day. hows things. etc. Theyve always been ones to give tough love, his dad especially. They'd throw out low blows here and there like you're an alcoholic/druggie (they thought it was only pot) loser, you look like a hoodlum (because of his tattoos), etc. We went to family counseling session before he was out of rehab, and before he was in the room with us we met with his cousenlor alone. They all turned against me and said that its my fault he continued to use heroin. Which i didnt. Am i guilty for giving him money, yes, am i guilty for not saying anything to him sooner, yes. But at the end of the day its his addiction and unless he wanted help, i couldve caused him to get more lost in his addiction. And i shouldve said something to them sooner. They all knew something was going on, they could tell by how he acted. Nobody said anything. Thats a violation of his trust, and i couldve lost him metaphorically and physically because of the backlash from it. Now i didnt know his addiction was as bad as it was, nor did i think he was shooting heroin, i thought he occasionally snorted it (which isnt any better, i know). I know its been a battle and its been on and off with him. Obviously there was lying involved and he was very good at hiding it. He was never home to spend time with me and our daughter, but other times he was present a lot. They never took the time to verbalize caring about him. It's causing tension between us because it also bothers him but won't say anything. He said just let it go, theyre trying to rekindle a relationship that isnt there. I probably sound extremely selfish, and im not trying to be, I understand its tough from all aspects. But nobody shoud be a part time parent no matter how old your kid is. I know he feels the same way i do, why now? It came to the point where he didnt want to come home after rehab because we live with his parents, he went to a sober house. Which is obviously great because he needs all the continuing care to stay sober. I know as a parent you naturally feel guilty. But for him to say oh so all i needed to do was become a drug addict to get attention?, is really heartbreaking. Hes not one to verbalize, and i hope he'll get to that point.