Making a Change hopefully will be positive
I thought Id give an update quickly. I do recognize the authentic concern people have here for me and others. I know I may.have put a few people off not agreeing with my things BUT
I had another therapy session today. I'm going to really try to work through some things.
Made a decision that it would be a good idea for me to take a step back from physical relations with my husband while I do some of this work. I have been making a mistake and the emotional connection is.not fully intact and Ive been ignoring this.
I talked to him last night and explained. I guess it was my version of telling him no and see what happens.
He was calm and receptive. He feels we need that to keep us close. But I told him I really felt the issue is that emotionally I'm not healthy and giving myself to.him in a safe, trusting way. I want him but want to not hold back. He was a little frustrated but didnt lose his cool. He had previously offered to move into a different bedroom and he did seem shocked I was now saying I think we should do this. Except I said I would be the one to move rooms for a couple of different reasons.. No I didnt move out last night but am doing I tonight. I asked him to understand and lets step back and nurture just the emotional side. Trust.
He has his first therapy session next week. He handled it good so far. I hope the weekend goes.ok. you know how sometimes you can toss something around in your mind and become angry, hurt, confused.
He asked how long. And many questions. I dont think it was meant to rush me.
its big change for me. He clearly stated he was doing better and felt more in control.said he was not going to use drugs again. Acknowledged it was a mistake and he has poor control once he starts.
I just thought id share what I decided. Its going to be hard . I was apart from him while in rehab and did fine. But now he will be here and it will be tougher. Will test my resolve at healing myself and being gentle and patient with myself .
Have a nice weekend. Thank you all for your views and the genuine concern for my physical and emotional safety.