Originally Posted by
davaidavai 
about my own boredom and desperation for a vital experience and a cluelessness about how to get that experience.
I have found that once my mind was free to start experiencing my surroundings ( vs numbing/distorting it with alcohol ) that vital experiences are everywhere. A blooming flower, a hike up a steep hill, growing a garden, actually talking with someone - all of them can be vital and vibrant experiences.
I feel it goes back to my addictive tendency to seek instant gratification. I wanted things to feel good NOW and without any effort on my part.