Ms. Dame,
Remember when you said you'd go to any lengths to get and stay sober? Play the video in your mind of what will happen if you pick up. Now if you truly believe death is not an option, go to a meeting or call someone immediately. Or post here again. Don't rely on Mr. Guy. Think of the pressure that puts him under. You have one job TODAY, and that's to not drink.
I will echo january161992's wisdom here:
meetings
sponsor
steps
service
higher power
Choose to live.
Tin Hips McGee