Hi Girlnotgone,
Welcome! I have found in all aspects of life that if I can't figure out the way forward to try one way, see what works then try another way. There has been a lot of good advice one people's thoughts and experiences already that can help guide you. Just keep reading, keep asking and just plain keep updating. I haven't reached full abstinence but my life is a lot better not least because of my participation in the SR Forums.
In SR you have found a family that will stand by you.
KP