Hiya. I couldn't be honest with a counsellor either. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything that would make her think badly of me. (Even though I could rationally understand that this was what she was their for, and had probably heard worse, etc.).
AA has been a massive part of my recovery. And lots of the younger members there also how to NA meetings. (I was really touched at an AA meeting a few weeks ago when one of the members turned up with about 15 friends from NA - apparently he'd had a house warming BBQ with his family and NA friends in the afternoon and they decided to round the event off by attending an AA meeting together. It was lovely to see him being given, and accepting, such a beautiful level of support and friendship - not something he'd have been able to do a year or so ago).
If you're anxious about getting in the door of your first meeting, perhaps it would help you to speak to someone (another woman) from your local AA and have them meet you outside the meeting the first time so you can walk in together. It can be a big help. If you phone the helpline and give them your details, they can pass these on to a local telephone responder and arrange for that to happen.
Both alcohol and drugs act as crutches to us, which we whip out instead of learning to deal with life on life's terms. So recovery needs to be about learning to deal with life. The ups and downs - sober. The pain and joy - sober. Boredom and busy times - sober. And that is all possible. I know, because I did it, and continue to do it, as do so many others. If yiu look on the AA 12-steps, or the NA ones for that matter, you will notice that of those 12-steps of recovery, it only step 1 that even mentions alcohol or drugs. The rest of them are all about learning to LIVE sober.
There is a little AA book called 'Living Sober' which is worth getting hold of an reading, whether or not you end up going to meetings. I bought it from Amazon for my Kindle, and also got a paperback copy. For such a little book, it holds a lot of wisdom.
Anyway. I wish you all the best for your recovery. BB