Family tension with recovery
I just need to vent and meetings dont run this late where im at now. Im 45 days in and living with family. My family isnt alcoholics, but they do always talk to me about it and try to give advice, out of love. but theyre older, very conservative, hardlined people who dont really understand alcoholism. to them, its something ill just mature out of (im 22).
They admit that they dont get it, but everyday they give me a lecture on how i think negatively (because i tell them i cant control my drinking, i cant stop on my own and ill probably die if i keep doing it). I try to avoid alcoholism or recovery conversations with them, but they bring it up a lot and its just been getting to me.
I really can't stand trying to do the right thing and being told I'm doing the wrong thing. Its not out of a need to control me, its out of concern, but they tend to yell and I can't yell back because they're letting me stay here rather than live on the street. I was so wound up today I was considering shooting myself (which is the thought I always run to).
I just needed to vent this frustration out. I am thinking if I would have been better off in a halfway house since the people there would understand alcoholism and difficult feelings. Anybody been thru something similar?